Glitter Galvanization and Rainbow Colored Crayons: Painting the Scene

It's a sunny day in Houston's Montrose area, where the air's thick with barbecue smoke and unspoken grudges against authority, and suddenly, a gaggle of glitter-flingin' show-tunes singin' flash mobbing activists turn a humble grassy median into Ground Zero for the Great Crosswalk Catastrophe. There they stand, a motley crew of misfits all huddled around a podium screaming "We're queer!" like it's the message the rest of the world has all been waiting for. Microphones from KHOU and NBC bob like buoys in this sea of defiance, while everyone in the crowd mainly looks on in bewildered silence. It's less a press conference and more a pop-up circus where the clowns forgot their red noses but remembered the rainbow war paint and sparklers.

Shouting from their soapbox, "We are Houston, we are queer!"—as if the rest of Texas hadn't already gotten the memo via carrier pigeon. The kicker is that there's no massive mob here, just an intimate huddle of uninterested media magnets turning a trash bin bonanza into a viral memefest. But wait... there's more! A queer defender stomping his feet in demand for rainbow house painting and "Hay, we gay!" yard signs as payback against the governor's grudge—because nothing says "protest" like turning your bungalow into a Rainbow Brite convention.

The Soapbox of Abomination

At its squishy heart, this soapbox stampede's a love letter to liberal lunacy, wrapped in pride flags and sealed with insatiable spite. "We love ourselves for it—it's fun to be out! It's fun to be queer in Houston!" they crow, as if queerness is the world's best flavor of ice cream and everyone's just jealous they picked vanilla with no sprinkles. And, hey, nothing scream fun like turning your entire cul-de-sac into a Pride parade float factory.

Atop the boxes are Texas' very opwn degenerate politicans like Molly Cook, Rodney Ellis, and Gene Wu.

Enter Gene Wu: Wu is a Democratic party toting butt loving state representative from Houston, Texas, who in August 2025 helped lead about 50 fellow House Democrats in a "quorum break"—a protest tactic where lawmakers temporarily leave the state (they went to a resort in Illinois of all places) to prevent the Texas House from having enough members present to conduct business legally. This stalled a special legislative session called by Governor Abbott to redraw congressional district maps, which these Democratic degenerates viewed as an unfair "gerrymandering" effort to boost Republican seats in Congress. Because, nothing says "Fuck you" like taking a vacation when you should be working for We The People. In response, Texas Governor Abbott and Attorney General Paxton filed emergency legal petitions (called "quo warranto" actions) with the all-Republican Texas Supreme Court in August 2025, accusing Wu (as a key organizer) of clearly abandoning his duties and allegedly accepting bribes from out-of-state political action committees (PACs) that funded the big gay vacation trip. The goal was to force Wu out of office entirely for not upholding his oath to the American people. As of today, these cases are still pending—no final decision has been made—though legal experts and supportive court filings (called amicus briefs) argue the Republican claims are flimsy and unlikely to succeed under Texas law, which protects such protests as free speech. However, the abandonment of your oath when you're called to do your job is not taken into account here, and could lead to serious repercussions, especially from the public.

Enter Rodney Ellis: Ellis is a Democratic commissioner on the Harris County Commission (which oversees local government for Houston and surrounding areas, the state's most populous county). He spearheaded (no pun intended) a program called "Uplift Harris," launched in 2024, which aimed to fight poverty by giving $500 monthly cash payments to 800 low-income families through a lottery system, funded partly by federal COVID-19 relief money (who would have thunk it?). Paxton sued Harris County in April 2024 (and again in September 2024 for a tweaked version, "Uplift Harris 2.0") claiming it violated the Texas Constitution by using taxpayer dollars for "gifts" to private individuals without a public purpose. After court battles, including temporary halts on payments, Paxton scored a major win in July 2025 when a judge sided with him (And who in their right mind wouldn't?). This pressured the county commissioners—including Ellis—to vote in June 2025 (just before the ruling) to shut down the program entirely and redirect about $18 million in remaining funds to other anti-poverty efforts like job training. Appeals are ongoing (and with this crowd, why wouldn't they be?), but the initiative is effectively dead for now, highlighting Republican efforts to block "guaranteed income" experiments in blue-leaning areas.

Enter Molly Cook: Cook is a Democratic state senator (Who would have guessed it?) from Houston, and is Texas's first openly LGBTQ+ senator, elected in 2022. Unlike Wu and Ellis, she hasn't been personally sued by Abbott or Paxton.... yet. It seems her clashes are more about heated public debates and votes in the legislature than with courtroom fights. For instance, in September 2025, Abbott signed a controversial law letting private citizens sue doctors or others who provide abortion pills (like mifepristone), which Cook—a registered nurse (Whod'a guessed it?)—blasted as a dangerous "bounty hunter" measure that could scare off healthcare workers and violate privacy rights; And of course she fought it during legislative hearings, but alas, in all her rainbow rays of glory and pride, she couldn't stop it in the GOP controlled Senate.

Did you think we were through with her shenanigans? No, we're not. Similarly, in October 2025, Abbott ordered the Texas Department of Transportation to erase "political" symbols from public roads, targeting that dastardly rainbow-colored crosswalk in Houston's LGBTQ+ neighborhood (Montrose), which, you guessed it, Cook joined protests against, calling it anti-gay discrimination. And why wouldn't she, right? Her opposition stays mostly at the policy level—testifying, protesting, and tweeting—rather than doing something real and facing direct legal attacks. It's the perfect ploy to keep her name in the clear, while everyone else faces the backlash she herself should be facing. But, let's also note that while Harris County (where Cook is based, duh) won some earlier lawsuits from 2021-2022 over expanded voting options (like, get this, drive-thru polling pushed by local Democrats), Republicans like Paxton keep threatening more suits to tighten election rules, creating ongoing tension.

We 3 Kings or The Lollipop Gang of Losers?

So, in summary of this Lollipop Gang Lollapalooza, we have the 3 Amigos, sowing chaos, allegedly gangstalking straight white males (namely me), driving them out of local businesses just so they can rule the roost without having to see any or face any backlash if they get recognized, and protesting anything they want on the Taxpayer's dime. Let's just get this straight (pun intended) before we end this concert of the world's tiniest fiddles... No politician should be engaging in protests, nor telling civilians (their employers) what to do when they are sworn to uphold an oath and do their job.

Their job description doesn't include holding protest rallies, it includes centering their work around the Constitution and faithful execution of their role. Preserving, protecting, and defending the Constitution supercedes working towards who does and does not get to keep their gay pride on display, as those are personal issues that the majority of the general public does not wish to see, and does not hold the greater interest of the Constitution. Your right to free speech does not include planting your flag by blasting your gay pride at an intersection, and if it were up to me, I would hang you by your balls, or chesticles for this.

The Big Gay Grand Finale: Chromatic Chaos Crescendo in a Kaleidoscope

In the end, this Montrose melee morphs from median madness into a masterclass in manufactured mayhem, where a handful of holier-than-thou hue-hurlers hijack headlines with their half-baked hue-and-cry why why why tantrum on full blast. We've got Gene Wu jet-setting to Illinois resorts on the taxpayer's tab for a quorum-quitting quackery that'd make a slacker blush, all to dodge district doodling while dreaming of dollar signs from shady PACs. Then there's Rodney Ellis, doling out dough like it's Halloween candy from COVID coffers, only to get slapped down by the courts faster than a piñata at a pity party—proving that "uplift" rhymes with "upset the apple cart."

And the one straddling this big gay clown car? Molly Cook, the not so anonymous bucking bronco rainbow-riding RN who's all bark and no ballot bite, railing against "bounty hunters" and crosswalk crackdowns from her Senate soapbox, on the side of a street, and tucked away safely in her echo chamber of unaccountability, while the real reckonings rain on her group chatting rainbow posse pirate gang. Together, these three-ring reprobates—Wu, Ellis, Cook—conduct a circus of constitutional contortions of not so epic proportions, peddling pride parades on public pavement and personal vendettas via policy ploys, all while the straight-shooting majority mumbles, "Enough with the eye candy, already!" It's taxpayer-funded tirades against straight white males and family units, where oaths get overlooked for optics and self-declarations of "We're awesome and you're not", and free speech against their circus stretches thinner than a rainbow after it rains.

So Here's the Sidewalk Chalk's Splashdown

In Harris County's hall of rainbowtastic horrors, these abominations ain't advancing justice—they're just auditioning for anarchy, one glitter-globbed and spandex strutting gripe at a time. Time for that red wave to wash away the lying leotard wearing hypocrites, before the whole Lone Star State turns into a liberal labyrinth of lunacy. Buckle up, buttercups; the palette's about to get primary, and peace is primed to paint over the pandemonium.