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WHAT TO DO [WHEN SOMEONE HARASSES YOU ONLINE] The Dark Reign of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz: The Saga of the Somali Fraud-Soaked Pride Parading Clown Prince of Pushovers The Great Cinematic Galactic Chokehold: Mark Kelly Faces Pete Hegseth’s Incoming Elevating Iron Grip of Escalating MAGA Doom Maxine Waters: 86-Year-Old Conspiracy Theorist Queen Screaming “Killer Trump” While Her District Drowns in Fentanyl and Filth RINOS IN OFFICE: "Suddenly Frugal" Politicians are Cordially Deciding Against Your $2,000 Check While Hoarding the Tariff Treasure Kneeling Blockade Busted: Trump's Troops From Texas Clear the Driveway Drama in Portland—What a Drag for Antifa! Slap Heard 'Round the Fake News Globe: JD Vance Delivers the Ultimate Face-Palm to George Stephanopoulos Governor Greg Abbott's Masterstroke: Texas Takes the Lead While Blue States Fumble All Over the Border Crisis RFK Jr.’s Congressional Beatdown: A Truth Bomb Barrage on the Left’s BS Case Closed: The Dan Heder-Taylor Swift Twin Theory Is Officially Dead and Buried—Here’s the Smoking-Gun WHAT TO DO [WHEN SOMEONE HARASSES YOU ONLINE] The Dark Reign of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz: The Saga of the Somali Fraud-Soaked Pride Parading Clown Prince of Pushovers The Great Cinematic Galactic Chokehold: Mark Kelly Faces Pete Hegseth’s Incoming Elevating Iron Grip of Escalating MAGA Doom Maxine Waters: 86-Year-Old Conspiracy Theorist Queen Screaming “Killer Trump” While Her District Drowns in Fentanyl and Filth RINOS IN OFFICE: "Suddenly Frugal" Politicians are Cordially Deciding Against Your $2,000 Check While Hoarding the Tariff Treasure Kneeling Blockade Busted: Trump's Troops From Texas Clear the Driveway Drama in Portland—What a Drag for Antifa! Slap Heard 'Round the Fake News Globe: JD Vance Delivers the Ultimate Face-Palm to George Stephanopoulos Governor Greg Abbott's Masterstroke: Texas Takes the Lead While Blue States Fumble All Over the Border Crisis RFK Jr.’s Congressional Beatdown: A Truth Bomb Barrage on the Left’s BS Case Closed: The Dan Heder-Taylor Swift Twin Theory Is Officially Dead and Buried—Here’s the Smoking-Gun

The Funnies
Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance • May 12, 2026
Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance
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Avatard • Rocket Schit • May 11, 2026
Avatard • Rocket Schit
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Hairy Flinger • Confession Carnage • May 9, 2026
Hairy Flinger • Confession Carnage
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Schmidiotest • Homophone Havoc • May 8, 2026
Schmidiotest • Homophone Havoc
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Frontline Dispatches
Ancient Mysteries, Esoteric Wisdom, Comparative Mythology
The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices May 11, 2026

The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices

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Biblical Archaeology, Ancient Mysteries, Noah's Ark Legends
Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries May 6, 2026

Ancient Discovery in Turkey: Researchers Uncover What May Be Noah’s Ark and Its Sealed Mysteries

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Criminal Justice, Legal Inequality, Government Overreach
The Scales of Justice: How the Court System Is Engineered Against Ordinary Everyday Civilians May 6, 2026

The Scales of Justice: How the Court System Is Engineered Against Ordinary Everyday Civilians

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Religion, Ancient Texts, Spirituality
Questioning God's Existence: Ancient Visions, Layered Heavens, and the Stories That We Have to Go On May 4, 2026

Questioning God's Existence: Ancient Visions, Layered Heavens, and the Stories That We Have to Go On

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Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, Artificial Intelligence
The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind May 3, 2026

The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind

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Conspiracy Theories, Targeted Individuals, Reptilian Agenda
My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script Apr 27, 2026

My Son Bred as Fake Jesus Vessel: Targeted Mom Exposes Draco Reptilian Extermination Plot & False Savior Script

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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