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THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS [ACCORDING TO AN ALCOHOLIC STALKER] The Reptilian Unveiling: Hillary Clinton, the Firmament Crack, and President Trahan's Survival Story Kristi Noem Slams the Brakes over ICE: Illegal Truckers Haul Ass to the Slammer! White Liberals: The Crusaders of Causes They Don’t Understand, Yelling Loudly into the Void The Impending Doom Descending Upon Gavin Newsom's Corrupt State of California – The Heavy Duty Booty Scammer's Final Reckoning Sarah McBride: The Drag Queen Congress Critter Who Makes Dragnet Look Subtle The Mysterious Exit of the Entity: Why the Bible Leaves So Many Questions About Yahudah’s Death Subway Specter: Boo the Knife-Wielding Ghoul Gets Boarded! Case Closed: The Dan Heder-Taylor Swift Twin Theory Is Officially Dead and Buried—Here’s the Smoking-Gun I HAVE A NEW STALKER [ONE OF MANY] THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS [ACCORDING TO AN ALCOHOLIC STALKER] The Reptilian Unveiling: Hillary Clinton, the Firmament Crack, and President Trahan's Survival Story Kristi Noem Slams the Brakes over ICE: Illegal Truckers Haul Ass to the Slammer! White Liberals: The Crusaders of Causes They Don’t Understand, Yelling Loudly into the Void The Impending Doom Descending Upon Gavin Newsom's Corrupt State of California – The Heavy Duty Booty Scammer's Final Reckoning Sarah McBride: The Drag Queen Congress Critter Who Makes Dragnet Look Subtle The Mysterious Exit of the Entity: Why the Bible Leaves So Many Questions About Yahudah’s Death Subway Specter: Boo the Knife-Wielding Ghoul Gets Boarded! Case Closed: The Dan Heder-Taylor Swift Twin Theory Is Officially Dead and Buried—Here’s the Smoking-Gun I HAVE A NEW STALKER [ONE OF MANY]

The Funnies

Lil Lucifer • Hallway Rebellion • May 19, 2026
Lil Lucifer • Hallway Rebellion
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Dirty Cop • Captain's Meltdown • May 18, 2026
Dirty Cop • Captain's Meltdown
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Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance • May 12, 2026
Snider the Cat • The Echo of Arrogance
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Avatard • Rocket Schit • May 11, 2026
Avatard • Rocket Schit
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Frontline Dispatches

Spiritual Theater, Fallen Angels, Media Puppetry
The Unveiling: Mel Gibson and Joe Rogan as Fallen Angels – Humanity’s Ultimate Shapeshifting Mockery

The Unveiling: Mel Gibson and Joe Rogan as Fallen Angels – Humanity’s Ultimate Shapeshifting Mockery

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Ancient Mysteries, Book of Enoch, Fallen Angels
The Cursed Sirens of the Fallen Watcher Angels: Chorus Echoes from the Pre-Flood Rebellion

The Cursed Sirens of the Fallen Watcher Angels: Chorus Echoes from the Pre-Flood Rebellion

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Biblical Prophecy, Reptilian Conspiracy, Serpent Seed Doctrine
Genesis 3:15 — The Bible’s Bombshell Exposé of the Reptilian Seed War That’s Still Raging Today

Genesis 3:15 — The Bible’s Bombshell Exposé of the Reptilian Seed War That’s Still Raging Today

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Ancient Jewish Apocrypha, Fallen Angels, Biblical Mythology
The Watchers: Fallen Angels, Nephilim Giants, and the Corruption of Humanity in the Book of Enoch

The Watchers: Fallen Angels, Nephilim Giants, and the Corruption of Humanity in the Book of Enoch

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Conspiracy Speculations, Reptilian Humanoids, Mortal Kombat Lore
Exploring Tarkatan Hypothesis: Does Baraka's Race from Mortal Kombat Reveal Hidden Humanoid Lineage?

Exploring Tarkatan Hypothesis: Does Baraka's Race from Mortal Kombat Reveal Hidden Humanoid Lineage?

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Ancient Mysteries, Esoteric Wisdom, Comparative Mythology
The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices

The Eternal Echo: Decoding Ancient Wisdom in the Emerald Tablets, Sumerian Tablets, and Nag Hammadi Codices

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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