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Maxine Waters: 86-Year-Old Conspiracy Theorist Queen Screaming “Killer Trump” While Her District Drowns in Fentanyl and Filth Sarah McBride: The Drag Queen Congress Critter Who Makes Dragnet Look Subtle Democrats' Desperate Tantrum at the Department of Education Still Echoes: A Pathetic Bid to Cling to Federal Power Pentagon's Badge Bash: Reporters Tossed Out, Secrets Locked Tight! Eric Swalwell's Residency Ruckus Ruin: When Big Swing D.C. Dreams Attempt to Crash Swalwell's Little California Ambitions Putting the Nuisance in Gavin Newsom: The Cocaine Cowboy King of Spin, the Prince of Deficit and Denial, and the Duke of Bullshit Rep. Tim Kennedy's MAGA Meltdown: It's Little Man Syndrome Meets a Great Big Mouth in a Spectacularly Fashionable Failure The Diabolical Dame of Deception: Mary Anne Franks Exposed! ISIS-Inspired Attack on NYC Mayor Mamdani: The Foiled Bomb Plot Right at Gracie Mansion It's Take Your Kid to Work Day! Grounding Gavin Newsom's D.C. Detour – Cuz Nothing Says "Leadership" Like Bombarding Trump With a Filibuster Maxine Waters: 86-Year-Old Conspiracy Theorist Queen Screaming “Killer Trump” While Her District Drowns in Fentanyl and Filth Sarah McBride: The Drag Queen Congress Critter Who Makes Dragnet Look Subtle Democrats' Desperate Tantrum at the Department of Education Still Echoes: A Pathetic Bid to Cling to Federal Power Pentagon's Badge Bash: Reporters Tossed Out, Secrets Locked Tight! Eric Swalwell's Residency Ruckus Ruin: When Big Swing D.C. Dreams Attempt to Crash Swalwell's Little California Ambitions Putting the Nuisance in Gavin Newsom: The Cocaine Cowboy King of Spin, the Prince of Deficit and Denial, and the Duke of Bullshit Rep. Tim Kennedy's MAGA Meltdown: It's Little Man Syndrome Meets a Great Big Mouth in a Spectacularly Fashionable Failure The Diabolical Dame of Deception: Mary Anne Franks Exposed! ISIS-Inspired Attack on NYC Mayor Mamdani: The Foiled Bomb Plot Right at Gracie Mansion It's Take Your Kid to Work Day! Grounding Gavin Newsom's D.C. Detour – Cuz Nothing Says "Leadership" Like Bombarding Trump With a Filibuster

The Funnies
Mika Jasen • The Believer
July 6, 2026
Mika Jasen • The Believer
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Pentagon Shenans • Granite Panic
July 02, 2026
Pentagon Shenans • Granite Panic
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Alligator Hunters • On Da Bayou
June 26, 2026
Alligator Hunters • On Da Bayou
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Sufferin Psychic • Ghost of Earl
June 5, 2026
Sufferin Psychic • Ghost of Earl
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Wackass • Flippin Flare
June 1, 2026
Wackass • Flippin Flare
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Pentagon Shenans • The China Room
May 29, 2026
Pentagon Shenans • The China Room
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About

Born in Alaska. Built to fight the machine. The full story.

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Chance Trahan — Editor-in-Chief & host of Sheriff Says.

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Dynamic Meme Generator. User-generated weaponry against the elites.

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Sheriff Says Podcast

Raw, unfiltered truth bombs. No corporate spin. Ever.

Frontline Dispatches
Consumer Rights, Gaming Industry, Customer Service
PlayStation's $12 Refund Ordeal: When Customer Support Feels Like Absolutely Maddening Endurance Tests Jul 2, 2026

PlayStation's $12 Refund Ordeal: When Customer Support Feels Like Absolutely Maddening Endurance Tests

READ THE FULL DISPATCH →
Social Media Drama, Political Outrage, White House Renovations
The Golden Eagle Tantrum That Ended in Granite and "Go F*ck Yourself": A Social Media Masterclass in Absolute Ownage Jul 1, 2026

The Golden Eagle Tantrum That Ended in Granite and "Go F*ck Yourself": A Social Media Masterclass in Absolute Ownage

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Conspiracy Theory, Ancient Sumerian Mythology, Hidden History
The US Invasion of Iraq: Alleged Ancient Technology, Gilgamesh, and the Hidden Reason? Jun 28, 2026

The US Invasion of Iraq: Alleged Ancient Technology, Gilgamesh, and the Hidden Reason?

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Sports, Football, Fallen Angels
Confidential Investigative Report: What If Actual Fallen Angels Are Players in the United States NFL? Jun 24, 2026

Confidential Investigative Report: What If Actual Fallen Angels Are Players in the United States NFL?

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Paranormal Phenomena, Government Disclosure, Interdimensional
Pentagon's Latest UFO Files Reveal 'Choking Ghost' – Witnesses Claim Demonic Hybrid Phenomenon Jun 20, 2026

Pentagon's Latest UFO Files Reveal 'Choking Ghost' – Witnesses Claim Demonic Hybrid Phenomenon

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Christian Prophecy, UFO Deception, End Times
Biblical Perspectives on 2026: End-Times Speculation, UFO Deception, and Prophetic Words for the Year Jun 20, 2026

Biblical Perspectives on 2026: End-Times Speculation, UFO Deception, and Prophetic Words for the Year

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Labor Trafficking, Canadian Crime, Social Issues
Labor Trafficking on the Rise in Canada's Prairies: Hidden Exploitation in Everyday Industries Jun 18, 2026

Labor Trafficking on the Rise in Canada's Prairies: Hidden Exploitation in Everyday Industries

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Longevity Research, Elite Transhumanism, Epstein Conspiracy
The Hidden Quest for Immortality: Young Blood, Tech Elites, and Epstein's Secrets Jun 17, 2026

The Hidden Quest for Immortality: Young Blood, Tech Elites, and Epstein's Secrets

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→ See every dispatch in the archive

Chance Trahan

From the Desk of Chance Trahan

Editor-in-Chief • Alaskan Capital News

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