Crockett's Eight-Page Rant Lands Flat—Doc's Report Crushes the Conspiracy

It's October 11, 2025, and Jasmine Crockett's desperate eight-page letter to Trump's White House physician is already gathering dust. Written on October 10, right before his semiannual physical, it blasts out accusations of hidden health horrors—swollen ankles signaling strokes, bruised hands hinting at horrors, and "cognitive lapses" like forgetting his own appointments. She CC'd basically the entire Trump administration, from VP JD Vance to Trade Rep Jamieson Greer, turning it into a viral plea for attention rather than a serious inquiry.

Enter Captain Sean Barbabella's post-physical memo: Trump is in "excellent health." Cognition is sharp, physical vitals are strong, with a cardiac age of 65 despite being 79. No history of heart attacks or strokes, no mobility aids needed, and all those "symptoms" are either managed or mundane.

The Poll That Fueled the Freakout

Crockett leads with a September YouGov poll: 63% of Americans think Trump's age and health impair his duties, nearly half suspect cognitive decline, and 51% say he's not transparent enough. It's a great soundbite for skeptics still smarting from the election, but it's outdated speculation. Barbabella's report directly contradicts it—no declines detected, full fitness confirmed.

Physical 'Proof' That Proves Nothing

Her evidence? Visible ankle swelling and hand discoloration tied to a July diagnosis of chronic venous insufficiency—a common vein issue in older adults, treated with low-dose aspirin for prevention. Crockett spins the aspirin as proof of a past heart attack, ignoring guidelines that allow it for vascular risks. The report? No prior events, swelling controlled, bruising from minor incidents like golf. That "facial paralysis" at the 9/11 memorial? Just poor lighting and a squint, per eyewitnesses. Walking wobbles at golf? Heat and age, not crisis.

• No heart attacks or strokes in 15 years.
• No schedule disruptions from health.
• No canes, braces, or hidden aids.
• Mobility and facial issues: Resolved and routine.

Cognitive Claims: Same Old Trump, No New Decline

Forgetting he appointed Jerome Powell? That's Trump's standard complaint about the pick—recurring, not rare. Epstein connections? Disavowed years ago; no fresh lapses. Short attention span and verbal briefings? His lifelong style, not sudden. "Naps" in the E. Jean Carroll trial or at events? Boredom in boring settings. Rally vulgarity—like the Arnold Palmer bit or fentanyl stat flub—is crass but consistent with his unscripted past. Transcript swaps for videos? White House choice for "energy," not cover-up. And the "I don't know" on constitutional duties? A flippant May presser quip, not confusion.

Her Big Questions Get Quick Answers

Crockett's five demands? Answered in the memo:

1. Heart attack or stroke in 15 years? No.
2. Health-forced schedule changes? None.
3. Assistive devices? Not prescribed or used.
4. Mobility and facial issues? Explained and managed.
5. Fit despite "lapses"? Yes—excellent cognitive and physical health.

She even salutes Barbabella's Navy service at the very end of her crossed-arms & stompy-feets manifesto tirade—classy touch in a wildly classless crusade.

The Ultimate Hypocrisy: Crockett's Biden Blind Spot

As X's Ian Jaeger (@IanJaeger29) points out, this is the same Jasmine Crockett who, in June 2025, defended Joe Biden's mental acuity as "completely fine" and "supreme," dismissing critics amid a parade of gaffes: Wandering off stages, confusing Kamala Harris for Jackie Kennedy, nodding off at NATO, and endless "end of quote" mix-ups. She called his sharpness "a thousand times better" than opponents', even as videos went viral of beach stares and shouty non-sequiturs. Now, Trump's quirks are "decline," but Biden's were "benign." Partisan priorities much? It's like she swapped glasses: Blue-tinted for Dems, red-flagged for Republicans.

Crockett's Own Baggage: Docket Dodging Probes and Pushback

While fixating on Trump's file, Crockett's dodging her own. An April FEC investigation into over $100K in questionable ActBlue small-dollar donations—alleged straw donor scheme—is still underway, with potential fines looming. And in March, a GOP censure resolution (H.Res. 258) targeted her for mocking Texas Gov. Greg Abbott's wheelchair as a "prop." It failed on party lines, but the backlash lingers, undercutting her ethics warrior pose.

Dallas District Desperation in a Democratic Ditch

With Democrats in the minority and Trump's cabinet confirmations cruising, this letter screams post-election irrelevance. Recycling "unfit" attacks from 2020 that bombed at the ballot box, Crockett ignores her Dallas district's real issues—like chronic VA staffing shortages she highlighted earlier this year. It's performative politics at its pettiest: A spotlight grab that the doctor's note just extinguished. Next? Maybe investigate Trump's golf score for "fraud." Or better yet, Jasmine—try governing.