Alaskan Capitol News

KOCH BROS [THAT'S PRONOUNCED COKE]

Posted in: Political Satire · Koch Brothers Parody · Video Game Concept Critique

Author: Chance Trahan

Date: 2019-03-20 22:29:21

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It's no secret, the cat's out of the bag (or is the bag out of coke?), the Koch bros are out to destroy what's good in "America".

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But, now that I know how to truly pronounce their name, "coke", I immediately came up with a video game idea.... and you're going to love it (or your money back).

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When coming up with this video game idea, it just hit me (like a bag of coke), Koch Bros (pronounced Coke Bros), and boy was I dying laughing. This is quite possibly the most hilarious idea I have ever come up with (for there are many).

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Quite simply, the video game idea goes like this.... (BRACE YOURSELVES, THIS IS ABOUT TO GET RIDICULOUS)



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You start out with baggies of coke as your weapons. You throw coke instead of fireballs and collect coins and stacks of cash from fallen enemies in order to buy more coke. The idea is that you've got to complete the dark–money agenda. The more powerful you become, the bigger baggies of coke you can throw that do even more damage. Eventually you can throw unlimited amounts of coke, and even helicopter in huge bags to just drop on the boss or even hordes of crowds waiting for you to show up. Each level ends with the Koch bros reaching the dealer's mansion and your money is tallied up by the dealer's house–bitch which determines how much more coke you can actually buy.

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That's the general idea, and I'm convinced that the game would sell like coke at a strip joint.

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Any investors want to actually jump on this idea? JK, don't do it.... although, we all know that this would be hilarious to actually see.

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Ever seen Metalocalypse? If so, you get this joke. And just in case you don't– check out the short video posted below.


And just in case you still don't get the joke, watch the music video that's just below this video too.

Chance Trahan Announces Nonpartisan Campaign for Brazoria County Commissioner Precinct 3 – “Building a Better Mustang Bayou for All” Super JD Vance and ICE Force One Storming the Trenches: Finally Cleaning House While Sorry Neglectful Politicians Scurry Russia's Recent Ban on the "International Satanist Movement": A Comprehensive Overview Why Let the Curry Commandos Cook Our Goose? A Fiery Plea for Flag-Waving Purity! Walz's Trans Refuge State: A Title IX Fiasco or Just a Pitching Phenomenon? Judicial Russian Roulette: How Soft-Hearted (or Deep-Pocketed) Judges Keep Loading the Gun and Handing It Directly to Killers STRUCTURE FIRE HAPPENS [DISPATCH DOESN'T SEEM TO CARE] Eric Swalwell's Shameful Downfall: Serial Misconduct Toward Women Exposes a Predator in Power Everybody Doin' the Locomotion: Gavin Newsom's Caravan of Coke and Corruption Hits the Streets with Glee The Euphrates Enigma: End Times Biblical Prophecy, Modern Day Sightings, and Alleged Government Interest Chance Trahan Announces Nonpartisan Campaign for Brazoria County Commissioner Precinct 3 – “Building a Better Mustang Bayou for All” Super JD Vance and ICE Force One Storming the Trenches: Finally Cleaning House While Sorry Neglectful Politicians Scurry Russia's Recent Ban on the "International Satanist Movement": A Comprehensive Overview Why Let the Curry Commandos Cook Our Goose? A Fiery Plea for Flag-Waving Purity! Walz's Trans Refuge State: A Title IX Fiasco or Just a Pitching Phenomenon? Judicial Russian Roulette: How Soft-Hearted (or Deep-Pocketed) Judges Keep Loading the Gun and Handing It Directly to Killers STRUCTURE FIRE HAPPENS [DISPATCH DOESN'T SEEM TO CARE] Eric Swalwell's Shameful Downfall: Serial Misconduct Toward Women Exposes a Predator in Power Everybody Doin' the Locomotion: Gavin Newsom's Caravan of Coke and Corruption Hits the Streets with Glee The Euphrates Enigma: End Times Biblical Prophecy, Modern Day Sightings, and Alleged Government Interest
Refreshing...