ACAP

ALASKAN CAPITAL NEWS

THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED]

Author: Chance Trahan

Date: 2019-02-16 15:31:06

Image
She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can't possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she's just, "not ready to date anyone".

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

Image
💬Just when you thought that, "just because you like PIZZA doesn't mean that...."

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE'S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM.... WE'RE JUST GONNA SWYPE LEFT.
JUNEAU POLICE OFFICER [DOESN'T SHOW WARRANT FOR ARREST] CRISIS ACTORS [DON'T EXIST, RIGHT?] I HAVE A NEW STALKER [ONE OF MANY] KOCH BROS [THAT'S PRONOUNCED COKE] POPPING OFF FIREWORKS [LIKE A DUSTHOLE] HOW THE FAR–LEFT OPERATES OCASIO SHAKES HER POMPOMS [FOR FAKE NEWS PROPAGANDA] The Dark Web of the MMA Cartel and Ryan Garcia's Explosive Claims MUSICIANS COVERING ONE EYE [WHAT THIS ACTUALLY MEANS] BODY FOUND [MENDENHALL CREEK] JUNEAU POLICE OFFICER [DOESN'T SHOW WARRANT FOR ARREST] CRISIS ACTORS [DON'T EXIST, RIGHT?] I HAVE A NEW STALKER [ONE OF MANY] KOCH BROS [THAT'S PRONOUNCED COKE] POPPING OFF FIREWORKS [LIKE A DUSTHOLE] HOW THE FAR–LEFT OPERATES OCASIO SHAKES HER POMPOMS [FOR FAKE NEWS PROPAGANDA] The Dark Web of the MMA Cartel and Ryan Garcia's Explosive Claims MUSICIANS COVERING ONE EYE [WHAT THIS ACTUALLY MEANS] BODY FOUND [MENDENHALL CREEK]