Alaskan Capitol News

THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED]

Posted in: Dating App Satire · Modern Romance Critique · Online Dating Oddballs

Author: Chance Trahan

Date: 2019-02-16 15:31:06

Image
She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can't possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she's just, "not ready to date anyone".

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

Image
💬Just when you thought that, "just because you like PIZZA doesn't mean that...."

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE'S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM.... WE'RE JUST GONNA SWIPE LEFT.
ACAP Editor In Chief: Chance Trahan
Chance Trahan
Editor in Chief
Mainstream Media Won't Cover This: U.S. Coast Guard Rescues Lone Mariner from Disabled Sailboat In Raging Waters 75 Miles Off Florida Coast Honoring American Heroes: Karoline Leavitt Stands Up to Bad Bunny's Hypocrisy and Here Comes His Bootlicking Democrat Defenders The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing: Crooked Hillary Clinton Gaslighting America While Introducing Corrupt and Illegal Profiteer George Soros Unraveling the Charlie Kirk Shooting: Chance Trahan’s Explosive Claims of a Staged Death UNIVERSITY OF ALASKA SOUTHEAST [SEEMINGLY HAS IT OUT FOR ME] Ilhan Omar’s Wild Ride: A Scandal-Filled Soap Opera The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind Putting the Nuisance in Gavin Newsom: The Cocaine Cowboy King of Spin, the Prince of Deficit and Denial, and the Duke of Bullshit Tariffs: The Great American Rip-Off or Superhero Smackdown? Chicago's Bean-Brained Mayor Plays Dodgeball with His Own Self-Inflicted Disaster Mainstream Media Won't Cover This: U.S. Coast Guard Rescues Lone Mariner from Disabled Sailboat In Raging Waters 75 Miles Off Florida Coast Honoring American Heroes: Karoline Leavitt Stands Up to Bad Bunny's Hypocrisy and Here Comes His Bootlicking Democrat Defenders The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing: Crooked Hillary Clinton Gaslighting America While Introducing Corrupt and Illegal Profiteer George Soros Unraveling the Charlie Kirk Shooting: Chance Trahan’s Explosive Claims of a Staged Death UNIVERSITY OF ALASKA SOUTHEAST [SEEMINGLY HAS IT OUT FOR ME] Ilhan Omar’s Wild Ride: A Scandal-Filled Soap Opera The Invisible Siege: Spiritual Warfare, Transhumanism, and AI in the Battle Over Your Precious Little Human Mind Putting the Nuisance in Gavin Newsom: The Cocaine Cowboy King of Spin, the Prince of Deficit and Denial, and the Duke of Bullshit Tariffs: The Great American Rip-Off or Superhero Smackdown? Chicago's Bean-Brained Mayor Plays Dodgeball with His Own Self-Inflicted Disaster
Refreshing...