Magazine

ALASKAN CAPITAL NEWS

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

ALLEGED FATAL WRECK ON EGAN [BY FRED MEYER]

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It’s a beautiful day. I’m at work. Things are going great. It’s about that time and I’m heading outdoors. I drive toward Egan and without a second to lose– there’s a Fire and Rescue siren, but no car in sight. Then, suddenly the vehicle is visible and it’s passing me in the turning lane headed towards Downtown Juneau. I get to where I’m headed and I see the lights that passed me flashing on the other side of right where I’m parked. The grass made things too tall to see, so I went inside. When I came out, I took a better look and noticed that there was what appeared to be a car that had been flipped upside down.

I can’t believe what I’m seeing, but I’m a busy man– so I go about my business. I tell other people about what I had seen in order to warn them about anyone complaining about traffic later on in the day, only to learn that it was a female that wrecked and that no others were involved in the wreck. I also learned that a bus then parked itself in both lanes to block anyone from driving through in the double-lanes of Egan Southbound to DoJu in front of Fred Meyer. However, let’s just say that Fred Meyer has earned a reputation of its own around here, and it’s not a great one. Sure, they’ve got great prices. But what else do they got going on in there? Listen to the Sheriff Says Sup podcasts and you’ll see.

Sunday, June 30, 2019

ROCK CLIMBING [IS THE DEVIL]

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I’m just kidding, rock climbing is a dangerous sport just like any other. But after having two friends that died from rock climbing, I have to at least say this. But when a roommate dies, what do you do? The hardest part is moving on, but the most necessary thing for you to do is to move on. You’ve gotta keep pushing, you’ve gotta keep doing what you’ve gotta do to survive. I can’t believe my friend of one month, Bryson Allen, is never coming home again. He’s gone, and I guess that there’s nothing that I can do to change that. It’s hard to grieve over someone you only knew for a month, but there’s still an emptiness, a void…. That person’s never coming back. That’s something you’ve just got to get over, as harsh as that sounds. I’m not sure how to process the death of someone I hardly knew. It kind of hurts, but at the same time, I hardly knew him.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

JUNEAU ALASKA [WHAT IT’S LIKE]

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Being in Juneau for almost 2 years now, I’ve been adjusting to how different way of life here is. One thing right off the bat I want to tell you is that we have day and night all year long. In the summer is longer days, and in the winter is longer nights. For example, right now as I write this we’re enjoying the longer hours of the summer time daylight. The sun comes up at about 3am and goes down around 10pm. What you’re looking at in these photos is Lena Beach at 8:30pm and 9:11pm. And nevermind that there’s nobody in the photos, because plenty of people are there. I walked to spots where I could get isolated shots of the view I was seeing. Plenty of people out on the water paddle boarding, one guy in a tube fishing, sitting in the water, and plenty of boats out there fishing too. Was a lot of fun. I was trying to get nature shots in these, and don’t worry, I took plenty photos of everything. Lena Beach is awesome.

UNLIMITED PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HARASSMENT [WHAT ARE THE ODDS]

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What are the odds that three people would target me in one day to be subjected to affirmative action from my boss at my job back to back to back? Yesterday started out nice, but as the day progressed, more and more people started doing more and more things to try to entrap me into some kind of situation that I obviously didn’t belong in in the first place.

First thing is first, when you call back and say that you have recorded audio of someone hanging up on you, you should probably factor into your fabricated story that you were the first to hang up, and also that our phones at work are sometimes malfunctioning, or even the fact that you called from an anonymous number (to book a party reservation) – before you go saying what you’re saying about someone and trying to get someone fired over it. Look, people call my job all day long and have 0 issues with me on the regular, so for someone to suddenly have this big dramatic situation could make you typically look like quite the oddball, and in my personal opinion, this does not look good on you at all.

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

ONLINE GANGSTALKING, BULLYING AND HARASSMENT [IS NEVER OKAY]

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Today was one of the most enduring days in Juneau to date for your resident Presidential candidate. It ended in several federal law enforcement reports being made on people I have never met in my entire life, and based upon their irrational behaviors, I pray that I never have to see them a day in my life. However, this is a very small town and it’s bound to happen eventually.

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