Well, here’s an interesting piece for you. An alcoholic stalker recently decided to give me a piece of his mind, and believe me whenever I say that there was not much to go on. The way the world works according to this demeaning alcoholic predator is quite possibly the dumbest thing I’ve personally ever heard a drinky crow even say to me.
A. The cops can break down your door on a false warrant and the city isn’t responsible for paying for the damage they caused to the building that you don’t own.
B. You can’t spend any presidential campaign contributions in order to keep your campaign afloat, especially if he doesn’t personally approve.
C. He’s gonna tell you what kids belong to you whether it’s true or not.
D. You have warrants in other states solely because he thinks he found something online, but he just isn’t quite sure yet. In fact, he doesn’t even know if you’ve ever been to those states he’s listing, but he’s gonna say you have warrants there anyways just to see how you react, because he’s desperate for attention, real real bad.
E. He and his gang of “player hater” pals can stalk and harass you any ol’ time they feel like, even though you’ve refrained from responding to their last 10 drunken trash talking emails or so.
F. He can call you a liar even though you’re telling the truth, because he says so, and what he says obviously goes.
G. He and his “miscreant” drinking buddies can violate your privacy, because this is Juneau, and nothing is sacred in Juneau, ever.
H. He can tell you’re a criminal just by looking at you, with his good eye, while he’s drunk, and can still kinda see straight.
I. You’re a deadbeat dad, because he or someone he knows talked to your psycho stalker drug addict ex, and she’s being totally honest. She’s just gotta be telling the truth. She’s just gotta. There’s no way she’s lying. No way. She’s the most honest person you’ll ever meet. I swear. Scout’s honor!
J. You don’t get a job in Juneau unless he says so, and what he says goes, because, he’s a drunk, and you’re gonna listen to him, or else.
K. He knows exactly what you’re doing when you’re doing it and where you do it, because he knows you and your daily actions better than you do, because now he’s a drunken psychic, and he knows all.
L. You’re a psycho, because he’s gotta crackerjack degree and he knows everything, and when I imply everything, I mean everything. The kid knows your mental state so well, even though he’s never met you or even held a conversation with you a day in his life.
M. You should be put down like a dog, because that’s what he does to people that he disagrees with?
N. You’re a felon and can’t carry a gun, because again, he said so.
O. You’re not a real man unless you carry a gun.
P. BB Guns aren’t lethal, because again, he knows everything, and he’s gonna tell you whether you like it or not!
Q. He gets to determine who is authorized to use the word “nigga” because he’s the only person in the world that hands out the “nigga card.” Did I mention that he’s an overweight balding white alcoholic predator? Yeah, this guy now speaks for all African-Americans, cuz he said so, *exploitive*!
R. He’s “probably” the only one who sees through the smoke screen that you quite obviously didn’t throw.
S. If you built a website, it’s bullcrap and he knows it, he’s seen the entire thing, every change, every day, every year you’ve made one, and did I mention every part of it is a lie? Yeah, your entire career you’ve built for yourself, every famous person you’ve taken a photo with and put on your site, every certificate you’ve earned, yeah, that’s all a lie. None of that is real, and this, again, is all because he says so.
T. No one on Earth thinks they’re a vampire, and no one wants your blood in particular, because he said so, in big bold letters, and this drunken nightmare of a stalker is just the guy you can trust. You can’t trust anyone on this planet, but him? You can trust him. He’ll never ever steer you wrong, right? Riiiight.
U. He can clearly tell that you have mommy and daddy issues, because no one else does, especially not him, cuz he’s perfect, and he’s gonna get you some help for your “psychotic episodes” because, again, he’s got this crackerjack degree that pays his bills on the daily. At least this is what he wants you to think.
V. He knows you’re washed up, because he sees someone washed up in the mirror every time he steps foot in front of one. And even though you’re a constant winner, he can do whatever he feels like to try to take you down a peg or two.
W. You can’t leave the state of Alaska, but only because he says so. And remember, what he says goes!
X. Kanye West is a crap choice for Vice President.
Y. You can’t “technically” win an election, because he is the god of all that is elections, and he knows your situation way better than you. Did I mention he’s never actually met you a day in your life? But according to him, stalking you totally counts!
Z. This guy Cheyenne Sanchez is a hero! He deserves a purple heart for all his hard work and sacrifices he’s made. As a matter of fact he’s better than you or anyone you know ever will be. Did I mention that this Sanchez guy’s got a girlfriend? That’s totally gotta count for something, right? Especially when he cheated on her, right? Doesn’t matter that he’s had a protective order filed against him for all his psychotic and cryptic abuse towards you. No, not at all. And even though he’s disrespectful and abuses his privileges with taxpayer funded vehicles, you should show him a little more respect. Just a little. Cheyenne Sanchez using a firetruck to run a personal errand: NARCISSIST FIREMAN [USES FIRE ENGINE FOR PERSONAL ERRAND]
