Magazine

ALASKAN CAPITAL NEWS

Sunday, February 17, 2019

THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG [OH, THERE’S MUCH MORE TO HER]



MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. (LISTEN CAREFULLY)

Jedi-Judge Jeanine bleeds the edge of cutting into Left Wing (ACTUAL NUTJOBS) freemason–illuminati–satanist news. She deserves a round of applause for pulling this off. This is as close to the truth as you can get out of mainstream media about the world we’re living in today. They’re conditioning you for the full blown truth. Are you ready for it? No…. I said, are you ready for 🤡? Yes, 🤡.

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EXCUSE ME LADY, WHO ARE YOU AGAIN? I JUST READ YOUR ENTIRE FRONT PAGE, AND (AT FIRST GLANCE) I CAN’T TELL IF YOU’RE A DEMOCRAT, LIBERTARIAN, REPUBLICAN OR WHAT (JEEZE– I JUST DON’T KNOW), BUT JUDGING BY THE LOOKS OF THIS, I’D SAY DEMOCRAT!

Saturday, February 16, 2019

THERE’S PIZZA HERE [AND I’M STARVED]

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She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can’t possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she’s just, “not ready to date anyone”.

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

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💬Just when you thought that, “just because you like PIZZA doesn’t mean that….”

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE’S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM…. WE’RE JUST GONNA SWYPE LEFT.

JIM MURREN & GEORGE SOROS [LAS VEGAS SHOOTING LOVERS]

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THESE PHOTOS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES, BUT ALLOW ME TO ALSO SPEAK FOR THEM…. (BUCKLE UP, Y’ALL)

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First, you need to know that profits of *over* $190 BILLION (YES, DOLLARS) were reaped from this tragedy on October of the seventeenth year of 2000.

HI, I’M ANDREW MCCABE. [THE TORCH CARRYING IDIOT]

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It’s not enough. No, it’s not enough knowing that there’s a rogue unofficial Sheriff on your ass and is hell–bent on convicting you for the sick things you’re allowing to happen to innocent kids everywhere. No, that is just not enough. It’s not even enough knowing that I am actually destroying lives with facts I unearth about their childish times in politics. Look, Just because this rogue unofficial Sheriff hasn’t acknowledged you yet, does NOT mean that you’re getting off easily…. that only means that I currently just do not have enough time for your asinine shenanigans. (BETTER GET YOUR FIX WHILE THIS LASTS)

Thursday, February 14, 2019

I AM SO SICK OF THE NIGHTMARE [AND TWITTER]

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“Here I sit, broken–hearted…. tried to s***, but only farted.”

As I sit here thinking about my life– that saying comes to mind. Partly cuz I’m often gassy, and partly because I’m just flat out broken–hearted all–together. I don’t want to be a part of the dog and pony show anymore. I don’t want to participate in the terrorist–funded Twitter debate anymore. I don’t want to fight for this country’s “values” anymore. This is so sickening to have to admit, that I just don’t want to do it anymore. That I don’t agree with “American values”, that I don’t want to negotiate with terrorist democrats, and that I think Trump is wasting lots of valuable time even catering to them at all, no matter how hard he tricks them for money– or whatever the case may be. I’m just tired of fighting. I just sit here and I’m thinking about how hard I’m trying to help, but also sitting here and thinking about how much this has costed me.

ACAP NEWS

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